Lady Jayne: Fun Stuff: How dependable is he?

question 1 of 20

He's meeting your folks tonight for the first time - it's roast lamb at your parent's place at 7 and you're picking him up at 6.45. When he answers the door, he's dressed in ...
1. Trackie-dacks and Nikes ... he's just got back from a run. "Could you iron my shirt while I have a shave and a shower?"
2. Lee jeans, a Ben Sherman shirt, new Campers shoes ... a bottle of Merlot (your Dad's preferred drop) in one hand, pink lillies (your Mum's favourite flower) in the other.
3. A Rooster's jersey and boxer shorts ... stubbie in one hand, a Big Mac in the other. "Oh was that tonight honey?"
4. Old Levis, a faded Oasis t-shirt, his old Converse sneakers ... and he's holding a six-pack of Fosters (his favourite beer).
You've asked him to bring home low fat milk, a packet of Tim Tams and this week's New Weekly magazine. What he brings home is ...
1. Full cream milk and New Weekly magazine.
2. Low fat milk (with yesterday's expiry date), an empty packet of Tim Tams and Who magazine (read it, binned it already).
3. Low fat milk, a packet of Tim Tams, this week's New Weekly magazine and he brings in the mail.
4. A set of spark plugs for his Torana.
It's Saturday night and you're sick in bed with a head and chest cold. Does your man ...
1. Stay home with you but spend the entire night in another room watching sport on the box.
2. Stay home with you, make you chicken soup from scratch, and give you scalp and face massages.
3. Disappear for a week so he doesn't catch your bugs.
4. Go to the pub with his mates, making sure you have cough drops and tissues by the bed.
You're meeting him at the cinema after work for a 6.15 pm screening. You arrive at 6 and find ...
1. Him queuing for tickets.
2. Him waiting for you with back-row seats he bought earlier that day, and a large diet coke and popcorn (your usual).
3. That he's not there. In fact, he's running late and you miss the first 10 minutes of the movie.
You enter your bathroom after he has spent a considerable amount of time there. You see ...
1. An empty toilet roll and the sports section of the newspaper on the ground.
2. The toilet seat left up.
3. A lavender-smelling candle burning.
4. A floater.
Your landlord is doing a routine inspection at 6pm. You've asked your boyfriend to clean the oven and mow the lawns today. And so he ...
1. Cleans the oven and mows the lawns.
2. Only mows the lawns.
3. Washes his car.
4. Just sprays the oven with oven cleaner and just gets the lawn mower out.
For two months now you've been hinting that you want the new fragrance by Stella McCartney for your birthday. What he gives you is ...
1. The new fragrance by Elizabeth Taylor.
2. Crotch-less red knickers.
3. Nothing. He forgot your birthday.
4. The new fragrance by Stella McCartney.
You ask him "Does my bum look big in this?". He replies ...
1. "Um... ahh.... I don't know."
2. "No."
3. "Yes."
An attractive blonde with a big, bouncy chest walks past your café table. Does he ...
1. Not notice.
2. Stare with his mouth open and then justify it .. "What? You look at good looking men!"
3. Stumble mid sentence as she walks by and then resume talking as if nothing happened.
4. Give her a wink.
You're going to Bali with the girls for 10 days. And all you ask him to do is feed the cat. When you return, tanned and braided, you find ...
1. The cat living with the neighbours.
2. The cat curled up on the couch with a new flea collar.
3. The cat locked in the garage and the kitty litter overflowing.
4. Another cat that looks like your cat but isn't your cat.
You've got a knot in your back. You ask him for a massage. Does he ...
1. Groan and then reluctantly give you a half-hearted 1 minute rub.
2. Take his clothes off and get out the Sensual Massage Oil.
3. Massage your back intensely for 1 minute and then say "my turn".
4. Give you an hour long massage followed by a 15 minute scalp massage.
You've started a low-fat, low-carb diet. Your boyfriend offers to cook dinner for you. He serves up ...
1. Spaghetti bolognaise with shavings of parmesan cheese and a bottle of red wine.
2. Grilled steak with steamed broccoli and diet coke.
3. Butter chicken from the local Indian restaurant.
4. Broiled chicken breast and steamed vegetables for you - and a cheese burger and oven fries for him.
It's your one year anniversary. He surprises you with ...
1. His shout at Hungry Jacks.
2. By doing absolutely nothing.
3. Waking you up with kisses on the eyelids and a card.
4. A rose on the hour every hour.
You find an old love letter from his last girlfriend. You ask him if there are any other old love letters or memorabilia. He says no. But the following day, you find a box containing ...
1. Photos of her.
2. Photos of another ex.
3. Photos of you.
4. Photos of his best friend Derek.
It's your best friend's Hen's Night, and you arrive home a little worse for wear. Does he ...
1. Leap out of bed, force you to drink a litre of water, take two asprin, and cleanse, tone and moisturise your face.
2. Tell you to sleep in the spare room in case you throw up.
3. Reluctantly get out of bed and help you get your shoes off before collapsing back into bed.
4. Try to get it on.
You send him out to get a dvd - a chick flick. He comes home with ...
1. Chicken Run.
2. Saving Private Ryan.
3. Bridget Jones Diary.
4. Jucy Lucy The Girl Who Goes Squirt.
Your sexy and single 19 year old cousin is coming to stay. You ask your boyfriend to pick her up from the airport at 8. At 9 o'clock the phone rings. It's ...
1. Your boyfriend. He's at the pub with your cousin ... they'll be home in a couple of hours.
2. Your cousin ... she's still at the airport - "where is he?"
3. Your boyfriend on his mobile... they're stuck in traffic and will be home soon - "Is there anything you need honey?"
You're moving in together. You're buying the washing machine - he's buying the fridge. What he buys is ...
1. A brand new stainless steel fridge/freezer.
2. A second-hand fridge/freezer that leaks a little water.
3. A bar fridge with no freezer.
4. An eskie.
You ask him if he finds your best friend attractive. He says ...
1. "No."
2. "Yeah I'd do her ... if I wasn't with you honey"
3. "She's pretty, but you're prettier."
4. "She's alright - but her boobs are too small".
You both decide to lose weight together starting Monday. Monday evening is to be your first workout together. He comes home from work and says ...
1. "Wanna get fish n chips for dinner?"
2. "Come on let's go for a power walk"
3. "Can't be bothered - lets start tomorrow"
4. "Why don't you just get liposuction?"